Thoughts on Eric

I was reading that the divorce rate of couples with autistic children was 80%. I've read about how it's moms that generally do all the work trying to fight the symptoms of autism. Add another special needs child on top of that and the statistics become much more grim. I can understand how and why this happens. Men are not programmed, either by genetics or upbringing, to cope with these challenges in general. Just like us women, they visualize having the perfect son or daughter in the conventional sense. When they are thrown the curve ball, they live in denial. Of course, I am generalizing. Eric is none of this.

While it is my responsibility to take Roman to school and deal with the bulk of the research and footwork that it takes to implement changes that can help, Eric is there cheering me on. He is also the primary contact for Tycen's schooling and recently set up his IEP (individualized educational plan) with physical and occupational therapists without much more than a few words of concern from me.

I couldn't imagine going through this without Eric's support. When I first mentioned autism, he didn't blink an eye. He didn't lament in it, instead he took the "What can we do about it" attitude, just like I had. He jumped on board with the Gluten and Casein free diet before I had even figured out how to accomplish it. He's adamant about what does and doesn't go into Roman's mouth. He's as excited for Roman to get into a DAN! doctor as I am. He dutifully plays Roman's educational games with him and asks after every home visit what the teacher taught me to do to help our son so he can carry out the plan alongside me.

He's always been this way. He sleeps on hospital couches just like I do whenever Tycen needs another surgery. He takes Tycen to get fitted for new braces. He insists on keeping totally abreast on all things concerning both our boys' treatments.

As I type this, he's off taking Ty and Tan to a college basketball game. He does the "good dad" stuff like that all the time. He's building the memories our kids will look back on when they have children of their own as a model of how to stay involved in their own children's lives. He makes time every night to play games with all three kids. I love the squeals of joy that fill my house when all four of them at play.

So, I must salute my husband, my partner, for everything he does for this family. He is so much more than a monetary provider, though I very much appreciate that as well. He's a real dad in every interpretation of the word.