Tycen and surgery

Tycen has an upcoming appointment with Dr. Caird. She's supposed to decide if another surgery is in the near future. It's an imminent thing, honestly. His lower leg, specifically his tibia, keeps growing faster than the other side. Almost two years ago, he had a surgery to implant a device that stretched his shorter tibia to the length of the longer one. It was so painful for him. Sometimes I cried because I just couldn't handle what he was going through. Tycen, on the other hand, never shed a tear. He whined every now and then, but he never cried. The process of stretching and healing took about nine months.

We're not necessarily back to square one, but the difference in his legs is visibly noticeable again. It's affecting his walk. Something must be done. Dr. Caird wants to put a metal plate on top of the growth plate of the longer tibia to slow down the fast growth. While it's less invasive than the last surgery (or surgeries, the process took multiple surgeries, four, I think), which included breaking his leg, letting it heal just a little and stretching it every day by the use of an external fixator for months, I still have a stomach turning queasiness about it.

Why do I have to put my boy through all of this? I'm not religious, but I am a believer in a higher being. At first, I was mad at God. Why would he put such a gentle and sweet boy through so much? I had no answer. I lost what little faith I had for awhile. Then, I blamed myself. It was probably my defective egg with a mutated gene that gave him NF anyway. I was sure of it. Then I remembered. It wasn't about the hand you were dealt, it was how you played it that mattered.

So, we're waiting to see what card is turned up this time. My gut tells me it's more surgery for Ty. I know he'll play it with the same strength as he always has. I stand in awe of that kid. MY kid. He does really handle it so much better than I ever could.