Feeling a little down

I've been talking to my friends a lot about this lately, but Easter has got me a little down. My mom has a huge Easter egg hunt for all her grandkids along with a meal. The kids always have so much fun. Roman will have to miss out on it.

I'm pretty sure that he might not even get what's going on, for one thing. He'd most likely just scream when I try to direct him to an egg to pick it up. Then, there's what's in the eggs. I can't demand that my mom fill all the eggs with gluten and casein free treats. That's really limiting and not fair to the other kids. It's such a free for all with 17 grandkids that his individual eggs could be marked either. I thought about switching out his candy with GFCF treats like jelly beans, but he's so into immediate reward, it wouldn't work. If I took something away from him to replace it, he would freak out.

Then, there's the actual Easter meal. Of course, it won't be GFCF. I couldn't even imagine asking everyone to eat like Roman, that's not fair. But there are lots of kids and I can't possibly keep Roman from snagging something off their plates all by myself, or even with Eric's help. Kids take their meals to go. There's likely to be food in the strangest of places, especially the candy they get from their eggs.

So Roman is staying home with Eric while I take the other two. We don't want them to miss out either. I feel really bad separating our family like that on the holiday, but what else can we do?

This predicament brings up a greater issue. I am afraid to take Roman anywhere. Some of it is because of his dietary restrictions. Off limits foods are everywhere and Roman's hands work so fast, he can snatch something and have it down his gullet before I could make even the beginning of a move to stop him. But it's more than that. Roman freaks out in unfamiliar places. He'll usually throw himself on the floor and cry. Once he calms down, he just lays on the floor the whole time. I feel so bad for the guy.

And then, there are other kids. Sometimes, I can't stand being around other kids Roman's age. This is my problem, and I need to get over it, but I just can't, not yet. I cringe when another two and a half year old starts telling a story with REAL WORDS. I want to cry when I see other kids Roman's age playing together and watch him off in a corner, staring off into space. I feel horrible about it, but I just can't bring myself to be around other two to three year olds unless I have to.

I have read other parents' stories of feeling this way, so I know it's normal, but it doesn't make it any easier.